I was almost sucked off whilst on the tube!

Why do you stare at me with blatant open-mouthed disbelief? I speak the truth! Gits! 😛

Last night I was riding the northern line down to drinks, and despite the carriage being deserted, I was perched on one of those little cushioned ledges next to the doors instead of sitting in steerage/cattle class.

Anyways, we get to Mornington Crescent, and some chap in his 20’s gets on, squeezes past me on my ledge, makes eye contact and then goes and sits down at the far end of the carriage.

The train pulls out of Mornington Crescent and starts to go full pelt down the dark tunnel to Euston as fast as it’s little wheel-things can carry it… and that’s when it happened… that’s when I nearly got sucked off!

All of a sudden, the emergency interconnecting door between the carriages flew open and this big vacuum of air enveloped me and I was left holding on for dear life to the nearest pole (no pun intended… this time! :P) whilst we were hurtling through the tunnel at speeds in excess of 40mph, with all manner of filthy tube debris getting blown and kicked up at me, and there existed a genuine danger of me getting hurt. What was worse was that I couldn’t move to close the door as it was physically impossible, so I had to wait two minutes or so for us to fly round a corner so that the door slammed shut again! The guy in his 20’s was absolutely no use whatsoever!

Anyways, I just thought I’d blog this little misdemeanour as getting it down on e-paper has left me feeling very satisfied… and I’m sure that it’ll be only the dirty minded amongst you (read, most of you! :P) who are left feeling fairly dissatisfied by my tale of almost being sucked off on the northern line hehe 😛

Tonight’s post has been brought to you by the following songs; “Fergie – Big Girls Don’t Cry” and “Kelis ft. Cee-Lo – Lil Star”; the letter ‘J’ and the number ‘8’… *sings the Sesame Street Theme* :o)

About Gari

Northern lad; living out in the Peak District and rediscovering life after having had a brain tumour.

3 Responses

  1. Alex

    You have a flare for creative writing. Imagine what it might have been like if the door that flew open had not been the interconnecting door at the end of the carriage but rather one of the sliding doors used for getting on and alighting.

    And yes, I have a dirty mind – QED!


  2. […] DarkAeon’s Demented Declamations A very good friend of Dorothy « ‘Booty Train’ – Virgin Trains Advert Railway porn and Forbury Gardens May 9, 2009 First off, you will notice that there is no comma between ‘railway’ and ‘porn’ in the post title… this is not a grammatical error and is intentional. Railway porn. If you’re not a geeky type, then you mayn’t appreciate this as much as you may have been hoping. I could try and doll it up by saying things such as “as his long train slid into her dark damp tunnel…” etc…. however, for that kind of smut, you’d be best referred to my previous blog post; “I almost got sucked off whilst on the tube” […]


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