Yes, this is pretty much just a sly way to scream and shout that it’s my birthday… but hey, someone out there has gotta be aware of it and pay for all the champagne! 😛

1. The 1980s were the BEST decade ever. It’s unlikely to get any more awesome.
2. The band Queen were/are amazing, no musicians will ever top them.
3. Moshing as a teenager to fit in with a crowd of peers is far less fun when you’re not 100% committed to a life of headaches and stiff necks.
4. You did well to party when you were younger, embrace life.
5. Around 38.4% of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musicals are actually pretty shit.
6. Tap water is minging. Always go for filtered or bottle, only ever use cups/glasses if they’ve been through a dishwasher as the art of washing up is being lost.
7. A ridiculous number of hours spent idling on Twitter will actually prove useful – I met Max through it!
8. Archers and lemonade becomes a treat years after the clubs abandon alcopops.
9. Twin Peaks was crap the first time… and then they did an awful remake. Avoid.
10. 20 years on, people will still quote scenes from Little Britain and think they’re being ‘original’.
11. Ru Paul’s Drag Race changes EVERYTHING. It’s the ‘Beautiful People / Beautiful Thing’ of the 21st Century.
12. Game of Thrones is best watched after the season finishes airing as the weekly/yearly gaps are unbearable and you’ll have no effing clue who is loyal to who.
13. Life gets thrown at you and is completely about how you react to those things. Don’t make excuses, take chances, live it.
14. Desperate Housewives is sacred, it’s the pinnacle of TV and will never be bettered. You will NEVER get over Mike Delfino or Mrs McClusky.
15. The iPhone might seem great, but you’ll regret buying a phone in 2014 that you’re still stuck with years later as ideas at the mindless conglomerate stagnate.
16.  You get half way through a list and realise ‘fuck it’ – life’s too short… 😉