It’s bizarre to think of exactly where I was a year ago, and to see where I am now.
I chose ‘now’ as my reference point, as today is the first day that I’ve not had to take any cancer related medications – I’ve finally weened off them, and the terrible sickness that I had has been consigned to history I hope.
Of course, I still get fatigued very easily and am about to look in to further ‘top up’ speech and physio therapy, and I’m still at the Christie every three months – but without wanting to jinx it, this is it I think, I am finally starting to feel more human again – yay!
For comparison, a year ago, I was admitted in to hospital due to this terrible sickness that I’d developed (at one point causing near-life-threatening levels dehydration, living off ice-pops). Additionally, I was in the middle of some very intensive radiotherapy. I don’t think that I’d seen the sky for a number of weeks at this point.
I’m finding that I’m in a much stronger head-space at the moment and am already looking in earnest at how I can give back to the system which continues to support me so well. I have people come up to me and they tell such personal stories – it’s genuinely humbling and they, along with my own learnings, really and genuinely do motivate me to aspire to learn more, to fundraise, to offer support and generally just ‘get the word out’ about the scourge of brain tumours.
I’ve also noticed a few positive personality traits that I think have magnified during this experience – I’d say that I’m definitely more perceptive, and less shy. Grab life by the bollocks, leave a big mark, be the best version of you that you can be as you only get one crack at it, and all that! 🙂
So there we go, yay!
Don’t go crazy thinking that everything is brilliant though – I stress that this is a long journey with many ups and downs. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow and it would be, in my view, naive, to celebrate – I just see this as one of those positive milestones in life, that are to be made the most of!
Finally, I’m doing The Color Run on July 5th for my pals at The Brain Tumour Charity. Please support me if you are able x
Hi Gari,
I’m pleased to hear you have been able to come off the medications. A big milestone reached! Did you expect it to take so long and are you surprised you are still fatigued easily? I’m having to readjust expectations of myself every couple of weeks. Tiredness is random and steriods are continuing to make me fatter!
You’ve been through hell compared to me. I’ve gotten off lightly so far. It’s very true what you say about changed perceptions and positivity. I hope the extra therapy brings quick results and is easier than you’ve endured before.
Love your attitude!
Best wishes,
Mike
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Hi Mike,
Truthfully on the meds, no – I was so so sick when I was post-surgery, it did get life threatening once – I never thought I’d see the day when I could ditch my anti-emetics.
Still get a bit queasy in the mornings but I’m glad to no longer need to medicate daily.
The fatigue is annoying as there’s so little that I can do with it. My brain’s there but body is about 6 hours behind ha! Given time, sure it’ll catch up.
If I could look back and talk to myself a year ago, I’d say not committing to one ‘vision’ is probably the best way to approach it – you can’t really control the changes and just sit back and know things will happen and then they will ‘unhappen’. Weight from steroids vs death – that’s how I always used to think of it, especially when I had to shave my head gangster style!!
I’ve not had the easiest of runs, it’s true, but it could have been so much worse of an experience. Absolutely consider myself lucky to have had a journey that I’ve been able to laugh about and get through – so many people are denied that 😦
Thank you for your kind contribution to my Color Run fund – incredibly kind of you!!
Hope that you’re doing well?
Best, G
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